Sugarrae - Never Mess With a Woman Who Can Pull Rank

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my feed or subscribe to me on Twitter, which is updated on a more frequent - and more meaningless - basis.

Yea, fucking right. Raise your hand if you actually thought that was a real title. Now slap yourself with it and go back to Slawski’s site. (No offense Bill. We cool.)

Markus, aka markus941, is the coffee bitch at AU Interactive based in Sarasota, Florida (AU crew photo). He enjoys surfing the tubes, blogging, snitching about paid links, italicizing entire paragraphs, and writing awkwardly long narrative about himself in the third person. He is also a really classy guy and would never talk shit about people he didn’t know all that well like Rebecca, who is racist and smells.

When I first got my big break - writing for Sugararoo - I was psyched. I dreamed up of all the great ways I could impress readers with my rapist wit, steal some new audience for my blog, and generally make the world a better place.

I was going to write a piece about how pimps should be wary of Google - because just like big media, they were next on the radar - with Google WhoreWords - free contextual lapdances whereby the whore in question whispers advertisements in your ear. Then when the applause in my head wore off, I realized that it was a really stupid idea.

Then I went to look for inspiration from previous posters, but somehow I only found a tranny and some high school girls chatting on IM.

I had to think of something. Something different. What would the SEO crowd get into? Then it dawned on me - Flash animation! SEO’s live for flash animation. So I found and hacked up a little game starring your favorite girl, Rae Rae.

Disclaimer #1. If your boss tends to fire people for having unsavory sounds suddenly blaring over the office speakers, turn down the volume. Disclaimer #2. This “fun little” evening project turned into a 6 hour build and now it’s 5:30 am on a Thursday morning. You won’t believe how crappy it is even after all that effort. For all I know I’ve gone batshit crazy and neither this flash game nor this post makes any sense and I will regret having posted it tomorrow. I wanted to make it even better, but I had to kind of half-ass it due to the aforementioned sleep-deprivation.

So without further ado, here’s to Rae’s Scotland vacation. (Couldn’t embed a flash file in the post, which sort of kills the effect - so the link will have to do. Oh well.)

Half-assed crap. With love. Zzzz.