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	<title>Sugarrae</title>
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	<link>http://www.sugarrae.com</link>
	<description>Never Mess With a Woman Who Can Pull Rank</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Thesis Tutorial - Creating Custom Categories</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-creating-custom-categories/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-creating-custom-categories/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:57:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Blogging It]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Thesis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tutorials]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[wordpress themes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2744</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>I get asked at least once per week how I got the custom content on my category pages (you can check out the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/category/affiliate-marketing/">affiliate marketing category</a> here on Sugarrae or the <a href="http://outspokenmedia.com/more/internet-marketing-conferences/">SEO conference category</a> on Outspoken Media to see examples). The answer are custom category hooks and the instructions for creating them are below.<br />
<!--more--><br />
Now first, I&#8217;d like to say that having custom categories is possible in any Wordpress theme. So, if you&#8217;re not using Thesis, all you need to do is duplicate the basic category.php template of your theme and and then customize it for each category, name it category-#.php (with # being the actual number of the category you have customized that template for) and upload it to your theme file. Wordpress by default <a href="http://codex.wordpress.org/Category_Templates">will first check for</a> a category-#.php file before it renders the plain category.php if a custom one does not exist.</p>
<p>That said, if you plan to customize every category on your blog, I&#8217;d highly suggest switching to the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/thesis.html">Thesis platform</a>. Why? Well, if you go to change blog layouts or designs in the future, you will have to re-create every single custom category template in the new theme. With Thesis, if you change the design, the hooks still remain. You do it once and don&#8217;t have to worry about it again.</p>
<p>For those of us already on the Thesis theme, adding the hooks to do the custom categories is fairly easy. However, please note that you need to be on Thesis 1.4 or higher for the instructions below to work. If you&#8217;re still using an older version of the theme, you need to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/thesis.html">upgrade</a>. I&#8217;d also recommend reading <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-hooks-dummies-tutorial/">hooks for dummies</a> before attempting the below so you get an idea of how hooks work so the code below makes more sense.</p>
<h3>Creating Custom Categories</h3>
<p>Let’s say you want to add some custom text to the top of your &#8220;apples&#8221; category page, above where the listing of your posts in that category appear and different custom text to the top of your &#8220;oranges&#8221; category page.</p>
<p>Step 1: Open your custom_functions.php file (thesis > custom > custom_functions.php) in your favorite editor</p>
<p>Step 2: Underneath the example code already in the file, place the following code (this code assumes your blog is in the root):</p>
<blockquote><p>
/* Custom Categories */<br />
function custom_archive_info() {<br />
if (is_category(&#39;apples&#39;)) {<br />
?&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;post_box top intro_block&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;headline_area&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;h1&#62;&#60;?php single_cat_title(); ?&#62;&#60;/h1&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;format_text&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;p&#62;YOUR CUSTOM APPLES TEXT HERE&#60;/p&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}<br />
elseif (is_category(&#39;oranges&#39;)) {<br />
?><br />
&#60;div class=&#34;post_box top intro_block&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;headline_area&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;h1&#62;&#60;?php single_cat_title(); ?&#62;&#60;/h1&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;format_text&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;p>YOUR CUSTOM ORANGES TEXT HERE&#60;/p&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}<br />
else<br />
thesis_default_archive_info();<br />
}<br />
remove_action(&#39;thesis_hook_archive_info&#39;, &#39;thesis_default_archive_info&#39;);<br />
add_action(&#39;thesis_hook_archive_info&#39;, &#39;custom_archive_info&#39;);
</p></blockquote>
<p>The /* Custom Categories */ is a label for the code below so you know what it is at a single glance. This is not part of the actual “code”. The word “function” tells Thesis you want it to do something. The custom_archive_info is what I decided to name that function.</p>
<p>The if (is_category(&#8217;apples&#8217;)) tells Thesis the category archive page you are looking to alter is the apples category. It goes by post slug of the category. So if the url of your category page is www.yourblog.com/category/learning-seo/ then you would use if (is_category(&#8217;learning-seo&#8217;)) in place of if (is_category(&#8217;apples&#8217;)). This line says IF the category is &#8220;apples&#8221; then insert the custom text below.</p>
<p>Now, the next portion of the code is an &#8220;else if&#8221; statement. If the category is apples, then it will insert the specified text outlined in (is_category(&#8217;apples&#8217;)) OR if (elseif) the category is oranges, it will insert the specified text outlined in (is_category(&#8217;oranges&#8217;)). The last portion of the code (else) basically says if it is anything else aside from the categories specified above, then use this default code (which happens to be the regular Thesis category page).</p>
<p>So you start with the initial &#8220;if&#8221; statement (the first category that you specify - choose any one you want) and then all subsequent categories would be &#8220;elseif&#8221; statements followed by the &#8220;default&#8221; &#8220;else&#8221; statement of what to use if you haven&#8217;t specified anything specific.</p>
<p>You can add more categories by simply adding more &#8220;elseif&#8221; statements:</p>
<blockquote><p>
elseif (is_category(&#39;yet-another-category&#39;)) {<br />
?><br />
&#60;div class=&#34;post_box top intro_block&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;headline_area&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;h1&#62;&#60;?php single_cat_title(); ?&#62;&#60;/h1&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;format_text&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;p>YOUR CUSTOM TEXT FOR THIS CATEGORY HERE&#60;/p&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}
</p></blockquote>
<p>Between the first &#8220;elseif&#8221; statement and the &#8220;else&#8221; statement in the example above:</p>
<blockquote><p>
elseif (is_category(&#39;oranges&#39;)) {<br />
?><br />
&#60;div class=&#34;post_box top intro_block&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;headline_area&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;h1&#62;&#60;?php single_cat_title(); ?&#62;&#60;/h1&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;div class=&#34;format_text&#34;&#62;<br />
&#60;p>YOUR CUSTOM ORANGES TEXT HERE&#60;/p&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;/div&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}<br />
ADD MORE ELSEIF STATEMENTS (AKA CATEGORIES) HERE<br />
else<br />
thesis_default_archive_info();<br />
}
</p></blockquote>
<p>The last two lines of the initial code example above:</p>
<blockquote><p>
remove_action(&#39;thesis_hook_archive_info&#39;, &#39;thesis_default_archive_info&#39;);<br />
add_action(&#39;thesis_hook_archive_info&#39;, &#39;custom_archive_info&#39;);
</p></blockquote>
<p>Basically tell Thesis you want to remove the &#8220;thesis_default_archive_info&#8221; function (the default category instructions) from the &#8220;thesis_hook_archive_info&#8221; and replace it with the &#8220;custom_archive_info&#8221; function (which contains the new category instructions you just made).</p>
<h3>Creating Custom Tag Pages</h3>
<p>If you use tags instead of (or in addition to) categories and would like to create custom pages for those as well, just replace:</p>
<blockquote><p>
(is_category(&#39;yet-another-category&#39;))
</p></blockquote>
<p>with:</p>
<blockquote><p>
(is_tag(&#39;tag-slug&#39;))
</p></blockquote>
<p>If you&#8217;re using the Thesis theme already and have read my other <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/tag/thesis/">Thesis tutorials</a> you&#8217;ll probably find this process pretty easy. If you haven&#8217;t made the switch to using <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/thesis.html">Thesis</a> yet, I&#8217;d highly recommend you read my review of the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/a-review-of-the-thesis-wordpress-theme/">Thesis theme</a>, as well as the tutorials to get a sense of why I am such a loud-mouthed and enthusiastic evangelist for this theme.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-creating-custom-categories/">Thesis Tutorial - Creating Custom Categories</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-creating-custom-categories/">Thesis Tutorial - Creating Custom Categories</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-creating-custom-categories/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>James Cook of Kawink Wants to Know What You Think</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/james-cook-kawink/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/james-cook-kawink/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:15:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Rants in Bitchland]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rants]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[wordress plugins]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2718</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>So, this morning I received an angry email from some guy pissed off that I wasn&#8217;t responding to his emails requesting support on the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/wordpress/cyc/">Customize Your Community</a> plugin that I paid to have developed and had given away for free (that says it accepts donations, but of course, he didn&#8217;t donate) right after I had it developed. His email said:<br />
<!--more--></p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;Rae Hoffman-</p>
<p>I am confused your website comes off as really credible and you seem to be connected some what to the blogging/internet arena but you have ignored 2 different emails sent telling you that we are having a problem with your plugin&#8230;I wonder what your community would think of that?</p>
<p>James Cook<br />
www.kawink.com&#8221;
</p></blockquote>
<p>Well, my thought is that folks might think that people running a real business should hire a programmer and not send a blogger emails threatening to expose them for not providing free support. So, my response was:</p>
<blockquote><p>
&#8220;I think my community would be kind of surprised at the audacity that you demand I help you troubleshoot a plug-in I paid xxx dollars to have developed that I no longer support because I no longer need it that you didn&#8217;t bother to donate anything to but feel entitled to receiving support for. </p>
<p>In short, don&#8217;t threaten me asshole.</p>
<p>Rae&#8221;
</p></blockquote>
<p>So what say you community? What do you think?</p>
<p>UPDATE:</p>
<p>He responded to my email with the following:</p>
<blockquote><p>Rae-</p>
<p>I will not even lower myself to start slinging names back and forth however tempting it might be. Who threatened you? Myself and others who use word press &#8216;QUITE&#8221; often will email developers of plugins if they have issues and in &#8220;MOST&#8221; cases will get emails back fairly quickly &#8220;ATTEMPTING&#8221; to help &#8220;OR&#8221; simply saying WE DON&#8217;T OFFER TECHNICAL SUPPORT after all who would know the plug-in better than the person who built it or paid for it in your case&#8230;.In any case most fellow Bloggers try to help out their fellow Bloggers. Your a real piece of work Rae it took the last email in order for you to respond back within minutes yet you could not take the time to help someone reaching out to you for help&#8230;which ironically is why the world is in the exact shape that it&#8217;s in right now is because of selfish people just like you.</p>
<p>I have 50 niche blogs and I will make sure I attached a post to ALL of them with our communications and your choice language as a lady&#8230;and even if just one person pulls up this post and sees you for your true colors I will be pleased. People dont email you nor any other developer knowing how much the person paid to develop thier plugin or any of that other stuff &#8220;RAE&#8221; or even with the &#8220;AUDACITY&#8221; in mind you spoke about they email you because they simply may need your help&#8230;and our IT person tried to trouble shoot it first but the next logical step is to contact the developer????????? Here&#8217;s a tip take the down the plugin OR post the contact info of who developed it before you crash or ruins someone else&#8217;s blog since your not updating OR supporting it&#8230;we lost 100&#8217;s of would be registars on just 2 of our blogs because your plugin most likely does NOT work with current versions of word press and it was NOT until someone took to the time to email me saying your captcha IS NOT WORKING&#8230;.</p>
<p>Get a clue&#8230;with your attitude it&#8217;s amazing how you have done so well&#8230;but then again I was just telling my wife how it always seems to be the most arrogant and selfish people who rise to the top, sometimes it really makes everyone else scratch their head in disbelief&#8230;</p>
<p>I will email you a link to the post&#8230;</p>
<p>Have a fabulous day fellow blogger glad our experience with other developers has not been like this&#8230;</p>
<p>We wish we could take back our vote for you as we had voted for you thinking how great your blog was and all the other yada yada stuff thanks for flashing us your true colors now your marked and we see you!</p>
<p>CEO SMEECEO&#8230;</p></blockquote>
<p>Note: Spelling errors and typos are obviously his, not mine. </p>
<p>Guess I should send him the link to mine&#8230;</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/james-cook-kawink/">James Cook of Kawink Wants to Know What You Think</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/james-cook-kawink/">James Cook of Kawink Wants to Know What You Think</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/james-cook-kawink/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>PRWeb Review</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/prweb-review/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/prweb-review/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 10:33:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[branding]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Internet Marketing]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Link Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[marketing]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[SEO]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2619</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m often asked when I mention doing press releases for <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/how-to-promote-brand-new-blog/">website promotion, branding and visibility</a> what online press release distribution services I recommend, if any. The truth is that I&#8217;m a longtime user of <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/prweb.html" rel="nofollow">PRWeb</a>, have spent thousands of dollars running press releases with them and am pretty pleased with their services.<br />
<!--more--><br />
When I first started doing serious press releases several years back, I signed up with PRWeb - partially because they were very visible at industry conferences like <a href="http://www.pubcon.com">PubCon</a> and partially because they offered (and still do offer) a series of <a href="https://prweb.webex.com/mw0305l/mywebex/default.do?siteurl=prweb">free webinars</a> that explained how to use the service. </p>
<p>I was <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/how-to-survive-the-affiliate-evolution/">making the leap</a> from being a small site affiliate to creating true <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/examples-affiliate-branding/">affiliate brands</a> and knew press releases had to be a part of my marketing strategy. With the roles of <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/dont-need-seo-rank-google/">traffic</a> and <a href="http://news.cnet.com/8301-13953_3-10063363-80.html">branding</a> playing a larger and larger part in top search engine rankings, utilizing every opportunity you have to get publicity, including press releases, is becoming more of a necessity. </p>
<h3>The PRWeb offerings</h3>
<p>PRWeb has tried to simplify their offerings over the years to give you a choice between four main press release packages:</p>
<ul>
<li>Standard Visibility aka the $80 level</li>
<li>Social Media Visibility aka the $140 level</li>
<li>SEO Visibility aka the $200 level</li>
<li>Media Visibility aka the $360 level</li>
</ul>
<p>While the site touts tons of features for each, the main (read, important) differences aren&#8217;t that difficult to spot. </p>
<h4>Standard Visibility ($80)</h4>
<p>The cheapest of all the available options, standard visibility gets your release listed on the PRWeb network (which gets about 2-3 million unique visitors per month), in Google News and Yahoo News. Additionally, you&#8217;ll also get access to basic statistics about how &#8220;well&#8221; your release did such as headline impressions (cumulative, by week and by day), full page reads  (cumulative, by week and by day) and the ability to compare the statistics of one (or more) press releases to another (useful in identifying the best days of the week to send out releases and which features help make your release more appealing).</p>
<h4>Social Media Visibility ($140)</h4>
<p>This option gets you everything included in the Standard Visibility package with a little increased distribution. Specifically, your release will be sent to an additional list of about 35,000 opt-in journalists, a &#8220;media digest&#8221; list (a list of about 4-500 regional reporters or 150-300 vertical reporters - your choice) and will also be distributed on the <a href="http://www.pheedo.com/">Pheedo network</a> (which means your release will receive exposure on the relevant high profile sites in Pheedo&#8217;s network). </p>
<h4>SEO Visibility ($200)</h4>
<p>The &#8220;SEO Visibility&#8221; package, in my experience, is often the most misunderstood. PRWeb, along with every other known press release site, has long been <a href="http://forums.seroundtable.com/showthread.php?t=51">treated differently by Google</a>. The links from within your press release, with or without anchor text are not going to give you much (if any) &#8220;inbound link value&#8221; in the eyes of Google. Then why bother with the SEO Visibility package? A few reasons.</p>
<p>The SEO Visibility option comes with everything included in the Standard and Social Media Visibility options as well as distribution to an additional regional or vertical media digest list (for a total of two), inclusion with relevant premium vertical publishers (like Entrepreneur.com) and the ability to embed an image within your release.</p>
<p>In addition to that increased distribution, you can also specify anchor text for your links, keywords to include in the url of your release when published on PRWeb. If the links don&#8217;t &#8220;count&#8221; then why does either of these options matter? To begin with, at first glance, a press release looks much neater and more professional with &#8220;anchor text&#8221; vs. www.mydomain.com/the-long-ass-url-to-the-feature-were-announcing.html as the links to the features, people or products being announced.</p>
<p>Additionally, PRWeb has numerous distribution channels and should someone from those channels decide to publish your release on their own site, you&#8217;ll likely find more value in that re-published release linking to you with anchor text rather than long and ugly url strings. </p>
<p>Specifying keywords to use in the url of the release hosted on PRWeb will increase (however slightly) the chances that your release will rank well in the search engines based on the domain age, trust, branding and traffic of PRWeb. </p>
<p>Additionally, you also get access to additional statistics called &#8220;Search Engine Hits&#8221; (which is a bit misleading since it is actually search engine visits, not &#8220;hits&#8221; as traditional SEO folk would identify &#8220;hits&#8221;). You&#8217;ll get to see the percentage of total search engine traffic each of the major engines sent to your release (Google News, Google, Yahoo, MSN and &#8220;other&#8221;) as well as the top 20 keywords that drove that traffic. Unfortunately, while they show you the % of traffic each engine sent, they don&#8217;t show an aggregate number of &#8220;total search engine visits&#8221;, which PRWeb says they&#8217;re working on providing.</p>
<h4>Media Visibility ($360)</h4>
<p>This package includes everything in the three previous packages, but with some additional &#8220;heavy artillery&#8221; distribution via the <a href="http://www.ap.org/">Associated Press</a> and by having your release sent to a distribution list that includes the top newspaper in 100 designated marketing areas (DMA). It also includes the ability to include video with your release, access to additional geographical statistics (which is essentially a <a href="http://www.google.com/enterprise/maps/">Google maps mashup</a> showing you the location of people who have read your release) and the ability to export all of your statistics (you can find an <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/example-export.pdf">example export here</a>).</p>
<h3>What to watch out for</h3>
<p>PRWeb makes it incredibly easy to get your release in front of the right people (your release will need to do the rest) but it does have a few caveats you should be aware of.</p>
<h4>Linking limitations</h4>
<p>Links, even with the SEO Visibility package are limited to 1 per 100 words. PRWeb&#8217;s reasoning is that <a href="http://news.google.com">Google News</a> seems to prefer this ratio and anything above it risks the release not being included in Google News. Since press releases traditionally are <a href="http://www.prwebdirect.com/pressreleasetips.php">supposed to be short and to the point</a>, you might find you quickly run out of links and are then editing your release to bulk it up to get another link or two in. However, note that if you contact PRWeb and explain you&#8217;ll take the risk of not being included in Google news, they will allow your release to go through providing the number of links isn&#8217;t excessive (aka obvious spam). </p>
<h4>RSS groupings</h4>
<p>PRWeb has the ability to group your releases, which is especially useful for those submitting releases on behalf of clients. However, note that underneath each release published is a section called &#8220;Other releases by the member&#8221; where other releases in the same grouping appear. So if you don&#8217;t want sites connected publicly, be sure not to connect them in your account by putting them in the same RSS grouping.</p>
<h4>Editorial Scores</h4>
<p>PRWeb doesn&#8217;t give much information about how it doles out editorial scores, only that each release receives a score of 1-5 (with 5 being the best) and that an editorial score of 4 or higher is required for your release to be distributed to Topix, Yahoo News and eMediaWire. If you get a score below a 4, you&#8217;ll want to edit and improve your release and submit it for another review to ensure maximum exposure. That said, I&#8217;ve never really had a problem getting an editorial score of four or above.</p>
<h3>Three power user tips</h3>
<ul>
<li>PRWeb is releasing a &#8220;Tweet It&#8221; option for your press releases that will tweet your press release for you the second it goes live. Be sure to take advantage of this brand new feature. <a href="http://www.twitter.com">Twitter</a> is awesome at spreading news in a viral fashion.</li>
<li>Press releases are listed on PRWeb based on who paid the most. You can buy additional &#8220;stars&#8221; above the four packages listed to show higher than other folks if you&#8217;d like. Whatever package you buy, you might want to consider paying a few dollars above the package price. So, if you buy the 200 dollar package, pay 203 dollars. This will bump you above all other press releases who only paid the 200 dollar base price without you having to buy another entire star for 40 dollars.</li>
<li>If you&#8217;re interested in trying out PRWeb, I&#8217;d suggest <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/prweb.html" rel="nofollow">signing up for an account</a> and then attending their free daily webinars as soon as possible before spending any actual money submitting a release.</li>
</ul>
<h3>My experience</h3>
<p>As I mentioned, I&#8217;ve been using PRWeb with success for a few years now. Our <a href="http://www.copyblogger.com/social-media-press-release/">releases are well written</a> (we do them in house) and always submitted at the 200 dollar (SEO Visibility level) though I admit I didn&#8217;t realize everything that came with the Media Visibility package until I did this review and will likely use that level for our next &#8220;big&#8221; announcement.</p>
<p>The statistics of our last five releases published are as follows with the most recently released press release listed first:</p>
<blockquote><p>
(impressions/reads/email forwards/prints/pdf)</p>
<ul>
<li>116561/1990/0/17/0</li>
<li>146304/2229/0/17/40</li>
<li>107428/1542/0/14/40</li>
<li>128481/1824/0/15/26</li>
<li>98241/2122/0/9/27</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Our releases all have gotten us several links a piece and we also have three business deals that have been very good for our sites that came from releases we&#8217;ve issued putting us on that company&#8217;s radar in the first place. Press releases, and <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/prweb.html" rel="nofollow">PRWeb</a> as a distribution method, have earned their spot in our marketing budget.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/prweb-review/">PRWeb Review</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/prweb-review/">PRWeb Review</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/prweb-review/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Thesis Tutorial - Customizing the 404 Page</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-custom-404/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-custom-404/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:32:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Blogging It]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Thesis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tutorials]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[wordpress themes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2514</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>A few weeks ago, I published a <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/a-review-of-the-thesis-wordpress-theme/">Thesis theme</a> tutorial that showed you how to do <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-advanced-ad-targeting/">advanced ad targeting</a>. The tutorial showed you how to assign ads to be different based on the category the posts were filed in, as well as change them on a post by post basis.</p>
<p>While <a href="http://diythemes.com/thesis/pagethatdoesntexist">&#8220;You 404&#8242;d it. Gnarly, dude.&#8221;</a> is a semi-custom page since it does keep with your theme and design, you may want to give it a little bit of <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/nothere">your own personality and wording</a> to make it truly &#8220;custom&#8221;. Below, I&#8217;ll show you how to do it.<br />
<!--more--><br />
Step 1: Open your custom_functions.php file (thesis > custom > custom_functions.php) in your favorite editor</p>
<p>Step 2: Underneath the example code already in the file, place the following code (this code assumes your blog is in the root):</p>
<blockquote><p>
 /* Custom 404 Hooks */<br />
function custom_thesis_404_title() {<br />
?&#62;<br />
YOUR 404 PAGE HEADING HERE<br />
&#60;?<br />
}</p>
<p>remove_action(&#8217;thesis_hook_404_title&#8217;, &#8217;thesis_404_title&#8217;);<br />
add_action(&#8217;thesis_hook_404_title&#8217;, &#8217;custom_thesis_404_title&#8217;);</p>
<p>function custom_thesis_404_content() {<br />
?&#62;<br />
&#60;p&#62;WHATEVER YOU WANT YOUR 404 PAGE TO SAY HERE&#60;/p&#62;<br />
&#60;?<br />
}</p>
<p>remove_action(&#8217;thesis_hook_404_content&#8217;, &#8217;thesis_404_content&#8217;);<br />
add_action(&#8217;thesis_hook_404_content&#8217;, &#8217;custom_thesis_404_content&#8217;);
</p></blockquote>
<p>The /* Custom 404 Hooks */ is a label for the code below so you know what it is at a single glance and is not part of the actual &#8220;code&#8221;. The word &#8220;function&#8221; tells Thesis you want it to do something. The custom_thesis_404_title is what I decided to name that function.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll notice this code has two functions. One controls the 404 page heading (custom_thesis_404_title) and one controls the 404 page content (custom_thesis_404_content).</p>
<p>The code is pretty self-explanatory on how to edit. The two lines underneath each function tell Thesis to remove it&#8217;s default thesis_404_title and thesis_404_content and replace each with the custom versions. (See <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-hooks-dummies-tutorial/">hooks for dummies</a> for a more detailed explanation of how this hook &#8220;works.&#8221;)</p>
<p>Custom 404 pages are your only chance to turn a lost visitor into a site user, so you want to make sure you serve up something that makes a good first impression. If you need some 404 inspiration, check out these <a href="http://blogof.francescomugnai.com/2008/08/the-100-most-funny-and-unusual-404-error-pages/">100 awesome and creative 404 error pages</a>.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-custom-404/">Thesis Tutorial - Customizing the 404 Page</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-custom-404/">Thesis Tutorial - Customizing the 404 Page</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-custom-404/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Affiliate Summit West - Day 3 Mini-Recap</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-3/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-3/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:18:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Barone</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Affiliate Marketing]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[conferences]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2597</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/affsummitlogo2.jpg" alt="" title="Affiliate Summit" width="150" height="150" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2607" />Hey, affiliate kids. I&#8217;m about to head to the airport to start my trek back to the East Coast, but first, let&rsquo;s recap Day 3 of <a href="http://www.affiliatesummit.com">Affiliate Summit</a>, shall we? </p>
<p>Sadly, due to my flight and this silly little thing called &#8220;lunch&#8221; that the speakers seemed to be really interested in, I was only able to make it to one session today: Amazon Widgets for Fun and Profit.<br />
<!--more--><br />
I was more interested in the &ldquo;how to use widgets&rdquo; angle of this session than I was the Amazon part, so that&rsquo;s what I&rsquo;m going to focus on. </p>
<h3>What&rsquo;s a Widget?</h3>
<p>They&rsquo;re rich Web gadgets or mini applications that improve the richness and functionality of your Web site. In a nutshell, they allow visitors to interact with the data that interests them from wherever they are on the Web.  Widgets allow others to share your data on other Web sites and they allow you to take advantage of other people&rsquo;s data.</p>
<p>For example, in the session speaker <a href="http://www.amazon.com">Zahid Khan</a> told the audience how they could take advantage of the many widgets provided by Amazon to help increase the functionality and usefulness of their Web site. Basically, you get to bring Amazon to your site and to your users, which can help increase both clicks through rates and conversions.</p>
<p>Widgets allow you to display product information in fun, interactive ways, to encourage users to play around with your site, to increase your own functionality and to serve as content.  The great thing about widgets is that they&rsquo;re highly customizable and available in many different sizes, colors and themes so that they can become part of your site and virtually indistinguishable from your own content.</p>
<h3>Best Practices for Widgets  </h3>
<ul>
<li>Select the right widget for the job: There&rsquo;s no such thing as a one-size-fits all solution. You have to take into consideration what you&rsquo;re doing. What are you trying to monetize? Is it a product-focused site? A personal blog? A movies/music site? </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Place it in the best available spot: The center-of-page size widget is good for one-off, very topic-specific widgets. Meanwhile, banner/sidebar-sized widgets are best for products that are relevant over a long period of time. Use free-size widgets when you control the size of the ad spot. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Personalize the widget control: Add user comments to your widgets. Your customers are more likely to engage with your products when you&rsquo;ve endorsed them with user comments.  If you don&rsquo;t have time to add individual comments to each product, personalize the title of the widget. It&rsquo;s easy to do and helps get around ad blindness.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Change widget content regularly: Handpicked wins over automated selection any day. Related to this, if you do use Amazon widgets on your site, <a href="https://widgets.amazon.com/Widget-Source/">Widget Source</a> is a way to easily change widget content programmatically in the code. It will also give you total control over the look and feel of the widget and opens up the door for you to create some really cool mashups.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Make The Widget Part of Your Site: During the session, Zahid went through a number of Web sites and challenged the audience to spot the widget on the page. And it was hard to do. That&rsquo;s one of the powers of widgets &ndash; how easily you can customize them to really become part of your site and make them indistinguishable from your actual site content. </li>
</ul>
<p>Widgets are really one of those things you should be paying close attention to right now. I was actually surprised that there were only 30 or so people in this session. Maybe it&rsquo;s simply because it was the morning on the last day of Affiliate Summit or maybe people just don&rsquo;t get it. Personally, I work for a company that&rsquo;s a huge proponent of <a href="http://www.webuildpages.com/blog/search-engine-optimization/widgets-are-important/">building widgets for clients</a>. I guess the rest of the world hasn&rsquo;t caught up yet. Their loss.</p>
<p>And that&rsquo;s it from me from Affiliate Summit. I hope you enjoyed the daily coverage and thanks to Rae for giving me a shot to experience it. Even if I did had to run around Vegas on a broken foot.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-3/">Affiliate Summit West - Day 3 Mini-Recap</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-3/">Affiliate Summit West - Day 3 Mini-Recap</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-3/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Affiliate Summit West - Day 2 Recap</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:16:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Barone</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Affiliate Marketing]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[conferences]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2558</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/affsummitlogo1.jpg" alt="" title="Affiliate Summit" width="150" height="150" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2586" />&#8230;And we&rsquo;re back with another day of blog coverage for <a href="http://www.affiliatesummit.com/">Affiliate Summit West</a>. If you missed Day 1, feel free to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-1/">go check it out</a>. Otherwise let&rsquo;s get on with today&rsquo;s big takeaways. This blogger hasn&rsquo;t eaten since last night&rsquo;s French fries dinner and her tummy is starting to rumble. </p>
<p>Ready? Okay.<br />
<!--more--></p>
<h3>Facebook&rsquo;s ad platform is a gold rush for marketers</h3>
<p>I&rsquo;ll be honest, I kind of wrote off the whole <a href="http://www.facebook.com/advertising/">Facebook ad platform</a> thing when it came out a year ago. Social media + ads just never seemed like a winning combination to me. However, it seems I was wrong. [See, Rae, I can admit that. Now you try.] **(Note from Rae: <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/facebook-expands-targeting-opportunities-for-advertisers/">I never dismissed Facebook</a>, so nothing for me to admit.)</p>
<p>During the panel speakers <a href="http://www.moneyreign.com/">Zac Johnson</a>, <a href="http://www.shoemoney.com">Jeremy Schoemaker</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/alexschultz">Alex Schultz</a>, and <a href="Murray">Dan Murray</a> all commented on the power found within the ad platform and its ability to blend high conversions with click prices that can fall as low as just a couple of cents.  Alex went as far as to say today&rsquo;s Facebook is very similar to what AdWords was back in 2002-2003. It has that same gold rush feel.  </p>
<p>Why should you pay attention to Facebook&rsquo;s advertising platform? Because there are 150 million active users, with half signing onto the site daily.  It&rsquo;s an engaged core network filled with real people.  The targeting offered by Facebook is the real bread and butter and why people should be paying attention.  Facebook basically allows you to name any interest and then it will grab out all the people who have listed that in their profile. It gives you a huge ability to increase conversions if you&rsquo;re smart enough to create a separate landing page based on interests.</p>
<p>Combine the engaged user base, the targeting, the high quality reporting and the fact that you can get single cent CPCs if you do it correctly &ndash; and Facebook starts to look like a virtual goldmine. Jeremy said that there&rsquo;s a huge marketing imbalance that makes it a great opportunity until the rest of the world gets caught up, especially for targeting folks on a local level.</p>
<h3>If you&rsquo;re not yet playing with Facebook ads&#8230;you should</h3>
<p>Show you&rsquo;re listening, and affiliates will empathize.</p>
<p>One of yesterday&rsquo;s big takeaways was creating relationships with vendors. Today, a lot of the conversation was centered on the act of communication itself. </p>
<p>In the Facebook session, Alex Schultz spoke about some of the problems users have had in the past with Facebook&rsquo;s ad program: The ad review is inconsistent, there&rsquo;s no bulk upload option, they put restrictions on the type of ads allowed, there wasn&rsquo;t enough support people to go around, etc.  Complaints like that for an ad platform that is barely a year old could kill it. But it hasn&rsquo;t killed Facebook, because Facebook listens, and as a result, they&rsquo;ve been able to not only improve on known complaints, but also to steer the conversation.</p>
<p>Jeremy noted that he even though he&rsquo;s not a big Facebook ad spender (maybe $500-$1,000 a week), he often gets emails from different Facebook support people curious to see if he&rsquo;s okay or if he needs anything.   It gives him an outlet to bring up small issues before they become larger and it shows Jeremy that they value him. It keeps communication open and promotes goodwill. </p>
<h3>People buy from people&#8230;and video captures that</h3>
<p>Last week on the <a href="http://www.webuildpages.com/blog/">We Build Pages blog</a>, I wrote about why sites should be <a href="http://www.webuildpages.com/blog/website-quality/compelling-online-video-content/">creating compelling video content</a> for their Web site. Today, I received another lesson in the importance of video.</p>
<p>Why is online video powerful for affiliate marketing?</p>
<ul>
<li>If you&rsquo;re an affiliate, you want cutting edge content on your Web site that you don&rsquo;t have to create yourself so that you can focus on driving traffic.</li>
<li>If you&rsquo;re the merchant, you want to grab eyeballs and get people back to your Web site to collect the conversion. </li>
</ul>
<p>According to speakers, <a href="http://www.qoof.com/">Jonathan Stefansky</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/Buy_Com">Melissa Salas</a>, <a href="http://www.marketleverage.com/">Michael Jenkins</A> and <a href="http://www.fawnkey.com/">Marty Fahncke</a>, video creative is phenomenally more successful in generating clicks and conversions than simple text. By adding video to your affiliate site, you&rsquo;re being given a better way to convert those eyeballs.</p>
<p>The word everyone is tagging on to talks about online video is &#8220;potential&#8221;. Marketers aren&rsquo;t in it for what&rsquo;s being brought to the table today, but what it can do in the future. There&rsquo;s a great opportunity here because people are so hungry for video. <a href="http://www.youtube.com">YouTube</a> gets more search traffic than Microsoft with 77 million uniques. That&rsquo;s how badly people want to watch video. You just have to figure out how to capitalize on that thirst. </p>
<p>We&rsquo;re in a bronze age where nearly anybody can create content. The Web is a text-based medium for the most part.  Today&rsquo;s panelists believe that this going to be completely revolutionized where there will be much more audio and video content in the future.</p>
<h3>How to be successful</h3>
<p><a href="http://twitter.com/DaveTaylor">Dave Taylor</a> rocked the Using Social Media with Affiliate Programs session this afternoon, offering up tips for how affiliate marketers can use social media to grow their site.  The thing with <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/category/affiliate-marketing/">most affiliate marketing</a> is that everyone is selling the same product, at the same price, with the same boring ass stock photos. If you&rsquo;re going to grab the commission, you need to have something unique to offer.</p>
<p>You need authority, credibility and trustworthiness.</p>
<p>You get that by being an influence leader. You go where your customers are and start talking. Today&rsquo;s social networks are all interconnected and bleed into one another, so it&rsquo;s important that the message you&rsquo;re putting out is consistent. You have a genuine presence and invest time in paying attention to your customers.  </p>
<p>That&rsquo;s how affiliate marketers can be successful in social media. And hell, that&rsquo;s how you become successful in whatever you&rsquo;re doing.  Sounds simple, right?</p>
<p>And that completes our coverage of Day 2 of Affiliate Summit. Come back tomorrow to watch us finish it up. I&rsquo;m gonna go hit the bar now.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-2/">Affiliate Summit West - Day 2 Recap</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-2/">Affiliate Summit West - Day 2 Recap</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Affiliate Summit West - Day 1 Recap</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-1/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:06:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Barone</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Affiliate Marketing]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[conferences]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2557</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/affsummitlogo.jpg" alt="" title="Affiliate Summit" width="150" height="150" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2575" />Hey, kids. Now that I&#8217;ve been an affiliate marketer for almost a whole week, Rae sent me to Vegas to attend <a href="http://www.affiliatesummit.com/">Affiliate Summit West</a> to pick up some skillz and report back to her what I learned.</p>
<p>And since liveblogging is punishable by death in the Sugarrae household, below you&#8217;ll find a thought out recap of the sessions I attended for your reading pleasure.</p>
<p>May you go in peace.<br />
<!--more--><br />
Here were my top takeaways.</p>
<h3>Your success will depend on your ability to locate the right opportunity.</h3>
<p>In this morning&rsquo;s Affiliate Strategies for Traffic Generation and Monetization session, speakers <a href="http://www.whoisandrewwee.com/">Andrew Wee</a>, <a href="http://www.marketingwithmiles.com/">Miles Baker</a>, <a href="http://www.diversionmarketing.com/">Geordie Carswell</a> and <a href="http://www.nickycakes.com/">Nick Koscianski</a> helped attendees learn to spot profitable affiliate opportunities. Each speaker agreed that you can&rsquo;t just assume you know what&rsquo;s going to be successful, because many times you&rsquo;ll be completely wrong. You have to throw everything you can against the wall and see what sticks. You never know what will actually net you money until you try. Werd.</p>
<p>Nick, in particular, commented that his process for discovering <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/category/affiliate-marketing/">successful affiliate ventures</a> is to pick 5-10 things he thinks WON&rsquo;T be successful&hellip;and then go after them full steam ahead. (It seems Nick has really bad judgment). Miles encouraged looking for situations where you can create a relationship with the vendor and to go after larger, less competitive areas.  Don&rsquo;t simply focus in on smaller niches assuming they&rsquo;ll be easier to tackle. Often, they&rsquo;re not. Geordie recommended using <a href="http://www.google.com/insights/search/">Google Insights</a> to help you keep track of trends and to discover new areas on the verge of being hot. </p>
<h3>Affiliate marketing is nothing more than building relationships with people.</h3>
<p>The most important lesson being drilled into attendees today was that affiliate marketing is all about relationships. Without that personal connection, you have nothing.</p>
<p>It makes sense. As <a href="http://www.andyrodriguez.com/">Andy Rodriguez</a> said in his presentation during the Developing the Right Merchant Mindset panel, affiliate marketing is based on freedom. It&rsquo;s the set your own hours, report to yourself business model that the Web always promised us.  In the world of affiliate marketing, these affiliates are not your employees. They don&rsquo;t work for you; they with you. And they can leave at any time and decide to send business to a competitor. In order to prevent them from doing that, you need to make yourself available to them and establish that close relationship. </p>
<p>Something else that struck me today was the idea that just because you sell shoes, doesn&rsquo;t mean you&rsquo;re only competing against other shoe merchants. You&rsquo;re not. You&rsquo;re competing against all merchants with an affiliate program.  And what&rsquo;s going to make you stand out and make you the person people keep want to interact with? The relationships you form from the very beginning.  That means when you send out that initial approval letter, make sure it&rsquo;s customized and that it promotes the goals you&rsquo;re after. Give them multiple ways of contacting you.</p>
<p>You can&rsquo;t force or buy these relationships. They have to be developed over the course of time, but once they&rsquo;re established, they&rsquo;re very often lifelong. Invest in building the relationship and the sales will follow. Remember, you need them more than they need you.</p>
<h3>There are different ways to be successful.</h3>
<p>During the Monetization panel, many of the panelists argued that the way to be successful was to be unique. What do you offer that your competition doesn&rsquo;t? Why would someone want to do business with you?</p>
<p>Geordie commented that he tries to make himself unique by writing his own content. If you want to stand out, trying straying away from text-based content and play around with video and audio. Be the one who&rsquo;s being copied instead of the one copying. There&rsquo;s a certain amount of best practices that everyone will follow &ndash; strong calls to action, using good color layouts, etc. &ndash; but after that, you can&rsquo;t copy results because you don&rsquo;t know what&rsquo;s really working for someone else. That AdWord&rsquo;s page you see your competition using could be the one they just split tested and found out performs worse than their others. You don&rsquo;t know.  Be original.</p>
<p>Or&hellip;.don&rsquo;t.  Nick joked that he knows a lot of people who make great livings off of having no original thought and simply copying other people&rsquo;s stuff. Geordie calls those people rat bastards. ;)</p>
<h3>&hellip;.but your pitch is everything.</h3>
<p>When you&rsquo;re an affiliate trying to get your brand or site exposure, your pitch is everything. The Ultimate Pitching Guide session had speakers <a href="http://www.helpareporter.com/">Peter Shankman</a>, <a href="http://www.smallbiztrends.com/">Anita Campbell</a>, <a href="http://www.thebizwebcoach.com/">Jim Kukral</a> and <a href="http://twitter.com/lisap">Lisa Picarille</a> detailing what goes into to creating a really great pitch. </p>
<ul>
<li>
Get To The Point: A good pitch is about two things &ndash; brevity and relevance. If a blogger or journalist doesn&rsquo;t know what the email is about in the first 5 seconds, they&rsquo;re either going to delete it or ignore it. Don&rsquo;t give them that chance.  Show them why it&rsquo;s important in the first few sentences. If you can establish yourself as someone who doesn&rsquo;t waste time, it will help you create great relationships for the future.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Know Who You&rsquo;re Pitching To: For God&rsquo;s sake, customize your pitch. Know the magazine or the blog you&rsquo;re going after. Who is their readership? What&rsquo;s their angle? What types of stories do they normally cover? By spinning things the right way you show them why it&rsquo;s appropriate to them. Don&rsquo;t make them have to figure out why your story would be good for them. In most cases, they won&rsquo;t invest that much time. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Treat People A Little Better Than Crap: Peter identified himself as the cynical bastard of the group and hailed that people expect to be treated like crap. According to Peter, if you treat people a little above crap, they&rsquo;ll be grateful. If you treat them good, they&rsquo;ll be lifelong fans. You don&rsquo;t have to be great, you just have to be better than everyone else. Read what the reporter wants and give it to them in under three paragraphs. That will get you above the crap and into the news. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Present Yourself As An Expert: Create a niche for yourself. Be the go-to person for X-related stories. Engage with the blogs/news outlets in that niche. Before you ask them to write about you, name drop them in your own blog. Many times they&rsquo;ll have a <a href="http://www.google.com/alerts">Google Alert</a> set up for their name and they&rsquo;ll spot it. This puts you in their top of mind recall.</li>
</ul>
<p>When you make a pitch, have a specific story in mind.  It&rsquo;s easier to get into blogs than mainstream journalist (were the bloggers just insulted?) because it&rsquo;s more relationship-based and that can be easier to form. Go to their blog and start leaving comments there. Get involved in the community.  Then, when you send an email to that blogger, they&rsquo;ll recognize who you are and you&rsquo;ll have the door open a little ways. Invest in the relationships before you need them. </p>
<p>Recognize the value of social media and use it to your advantage.  Social media lets you screw up to a much broader group of people. You should be trying social media and letting people interact with you. Try <a href="http://www.ustream.com">uStream</a>. Try <a href="http://www.twitter.com">Twitter</a>. Be on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com">Facebook</a>. These sites let the masses issue your press release for you.</p>
<h3>The struggles affiliate marketers face</h3>
<p>During the Affiliate Strategies for Traffic Generation and Monetization panel, the speakers were asked to share the biggest problem they&rsquo;re currently facing and what they&rsquo;re doing to overcome it. The audience was treated to some pretty awesome answers.</p>
<p>Miles shared that his biggest concern is scaling and growing his business. He noted to compensate for that he outsources a lot of his work and hires virtual employees. This, of course, creates another problem of having to manage people so he tries to create a system for everything that they do in order to eliminate any extra work and help streamline things.</p>
<p>Nick&rsquo;s biggest concern is always trying to stay ahead of the curve. There are so many new people getting into affiliate marketing that there&rsquo;s always more and more competition. To stay ahead you have to stay motivated. That&rsquo;s the biggest thing &ndash; putting in more effort than anyone else.  Most of the people in this stuff are lazy. Keep testing. Keep innovating.  Nothing lasts forever. Always be trying new things.  </p>
<p>Geordie is struggling with time management. It&rsquo;s hard to balance the stuff that makes lots of money with the stuff that&rsquo;s at all fun to work on. It&rsquo;s usually the boring stuff that makes a lot of money. A big part of this is to try and find out what&rsquo;s worth your time and how you want to live.  He thinks there&rsquo;s a lot of blog reading that goes on. Hell, you can be a professional blog reader and never do anything if you wanted to. But while you&rsquo;re doing that and trying to learn, someone else is acting and making money. </p>
<p>Put together, I think these gentlemen just described my three biggest problems in life!  And that&rsquo;s it from Affiliate Summit on Day 1. We&rsquo;ll be back tomorrow with Day 2&rsquo;s highlights.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-1/">Affiliate Summit West - Day 1 Recap</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-1/">Affiliate Summit West - Day 1 Recap</a></p>
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.sugarrae.com/affiliate-summit-west-day-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You Don&#8217;t Need SEO to Rank in Google</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/dont-need-seo-rank-google/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/dont-need-seo-rank-google/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:54:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General Marketing Babble]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[branding]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Google]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Internet Marketing]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[SEO]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2411</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/2009.jpg" alt="" title="Hello 2009" width="150" height="150" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2496" />I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ve no doubt heard that getting indexed and ranked well in Google is all about <a href="http://www.webpronews.com/topnews/2008/01/21/10-ways-to-increase-pages-indexed">Pagerank and links</a>.</p>
<p>While Google search engineer <a href="http://www.mattcutts.com">Matt Cutts</a> may have confirmed that statement <a href="http://www.seroundtable.com/archives/003418.html">almost three years ago</a>, it doesn&#8217;t mean things never change and/or that Pagerank and on page signals (aka SEO) are the only factors that matter when it comes to ranking in today&#8217;s search engines, especially Google.<br />
<!--more--><br />
It&#8217;s not all about SEO anymore. SEO is simply the process of optimizing your site to get the most benefit out of the rankings you earn via marketing and traffic development and is not necessarily required to achieve the rankings themselves. <a href="http://www.seobook.com/seo-worth-effort">SEO is still valuable</a>. SEO is still important. But it doesn&#8217;t run the show.</p>
<h3>A look at what pure traffic can do</h3>
<p>A few weeks back we <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/announcing-tweetwasters/">launched</a> a little site called <a href="http://tweetwasters.com">Tweetwasters</a>. It wasn&#8217;t a &#8220;serious effort&#8221; or anything we planned to monetize. It was a quick dip into the world of Twitter applications. But it also gave me some actual hard data back up what I had known in my gut to be true for a long while&#8230; traffic can have a direct impact on your indexing and rankings.</p>
<p>How can I be so sure? Because within a matter of two hours, Tweetwasters had achieved the following:</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li>the homepage was indexed</li>
<li>while considered a misspelling, Tweetwasters ranked #1 for the term &#8220;Tweetwasters&#8221; - over my own blog, which is pretty strong</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>However, what really was interesting was what happened over the next two hours (so, within four hours of launch):</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li>the site had over 300 pages indexed</li>
<li>the word Tweetwasters was no longer a &#8220;misspelling&#8221; as far as Google was concerned</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Within 24 hours the site had managed to hit the Alexa &#8220;what&#8217;s hot on the web now&#8221; list, though it only remained there for an hour or two. The site&#8217;s growth and strength in Google continued get stronger:</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li>the site had over 600 pages indexed</li>
<li>the user profile pages began ranking top ten for folks without a lot of competition for their name and top 100 for those who did</li>
<li>the site was now ranking #1 for the word &#8220;tweetwasters&#8221; above many other sites discussing it, and not only my own
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Nearly 48 hours after launch, <a href="http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/12/14/so-how-much-time-do-you-waste-on-twitter/">TechCrunch gave us a mention</a> and over 20,000 profiles had been checked at least once in the system. The site had over 1000 profile pages indexed and had received over 10,000 links (also proving that there is no &#8220;getting links too fast&#8221; issue PROVIDING YOU HAVE THE TRAFFIC PATTERNS TO MATCH YOUR LINK GROWTH).</p>
<p>Several weeks later, our fifteen minutes of fame are up and the massive traffic on the site has become a trickle. </p>
<p>While we still rank number one for &#8220;tweetwasters&#8221;, the amount of pages the site has indexed has dropped to less than five hundred and my <a href="http://tweetwasters.com/sugarrae">profile page</a> no longer ranks top 100 for &#8220;sugarrae&#8221; (it isn&#8217;t even indexed anymore at the moment, even with a range of site link from my sidebar - if you&#8217;re smart, you&#8217;ll take something home from that too). </p>
<p>What this says to me is that while you can use your looks (in this case traffic) to open doors, you need to be able to back it up with some substance (keep people engaged, keep them coming back, keep them passing along your links) if you expect to last.</p>
<p>This has long been apparent to me when sites with some of the most horrid architecture and on page SEO I&#8217;ve ever seen, like <a href="http://www.perezhilton.com">Perez</a>, are able to rank and rank well for highly competitive core terms. Watching Tweetwasters go from zero to sixty in terms of both traffic and the search engines simply allowed us to document an extreme case from beginning to end.</p>
<p>Could a talented SEO double the traffic Perez Hilton receives? They sure could - easily. But the lack of a competent SEO has not stopped their &#8220;SEO ignorant&#8221; marketing machine from obtaining rankings for all of their core terms.</p>
<h3>Learn to major in marketing and minor in SEO</h3>
<p>Three years ago, I did a <a href="http://www.webmasterworld.com/forum12/3047.htm">post at WebmasterWorld</a> on how I saw the tides changing:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;Stop aiming for the engines and aim for real, live human beings. Aim for obtaining traffic and not backlinks. Aim for obtaining attention and not pagerank. Stop aiming for the affections of a mathematical computation and aim for commendations from breathing individuals.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Good <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/how-to-promote-brand-new-blog/">core marketing</a> and the occasional yet regular <a href="http://www.viralconversations.com/articles/audi-viral-marketing-007/">viral success</a> (it doesn&#8217;t need to be large scale, especially if your industry isn&#8217;t) - both of which amount to driving traffic at the end of the day - can get you good rankings with or without SEO. </p>
<p>Mimicking valuable links with bullshit links obtained merely to game the engines won&#8217;t have a lasting effect. My nofollowed link from Twitter is more valuable to me than my dofollow link from TechCrunch because it sends me traffic on a regular basis that sends the right signals to Google while bringing actual human beings to my site.</p>
<p>SEO simply helps you leverage them to their fullest potential. SEO is no longer the sole key to good search engine rankings. Adapt and survive or deny and die. Remain a small component of an online marketing campaign or learn to run one. It&#8217;s your choice. 2009 will be the year of sharing tactics to market and brand websites from blogs to affiliate sites to regular business websites here at Sugarrae. </p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/dont-need-seo-rank-google/">You Don&#8217;t Need SEO to Rank in Google</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/dont-need-seo-rank-google/">You Don&#8217;t Need SEO to Rank in Google</a></p>
]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Thesis Tutorial - Advanced Ad Targeting</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-advanced-ad-targeting/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-advanced-ad-targeting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Dec 2008 16:08:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Blogging It]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Thesis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tutorials]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Website Monetization]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[wordpress themes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2344</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/adtargeting.jpg" alt="" title="Ad Targeting" width="150" height="150" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2393" />Since my last tutorial explaining the basics of the newly unveiled <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-hooks-dummies-tutorial/">Thesis hooks</a> was so well received, I thought I&#8217;d show you a bit more of how advanced the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/a-review-of-the-thesis-wordpress-theme/">Thesis theme</a> really is.</p>
<p>Not only will I &#8220;show&#8221; you, but I&#8217;ll also teach you how to take advantage of it on your own personal or professional blog.</p>
<p>If you look at my site, you&#8217;ll notice I run a large graphical ad above the fold on the Sugarrae website:<br />
<!--more--><br />
<img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/sugarraead.jpg" alt="" title="Example Ad" width="375" height="250" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2391" /><br />
Ok, big deal Rae&#8230; we already know Thesis can use more custom ad targeting than most themes and that you can specify specific ads on a page by page basis:</p>
<blockquote><p>Imagine you own an SEO blog but get a lot of traffic from people searching for routers due to a <a href="http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/18/hijack-hacked-linksys-wireless-router/">one off post you did</a>&hellip; with Thesis, you can change your advertising on that single page to be router related without forcing you to rely on <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/the-lazy-seo-vs-the-lazy-monetizer/">webmaster welfare</a> to do it for you. - <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/a-review-of-the-thesis-wordpress-theme/">Source</a></p></blockquote>
<p>And it is one of my favorite features about Thesis. You didn&#8217;t need to pick one &#8220;sitewide ad&#8221;. But after implementing &#8220;post specific&#8221; ads heavily, I needed to change a &#8220;non converting&#8221; ad. The problem was that I had to change the ad on every individual post (and good luck on remembering exactly which pages have which ads if you have several hundred posts).</p>
<p>Additionally, there was no way to specify an ad on a specific category page. It always showed the &#8220;sitewide&#8221; ad by default. While my <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/category/blogging-it/">blogging</a> category page would do well showing an ad for the Thesis theme, my <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/category/affiliate-marketing/">affiliate marketing</a> category page would likely do better showing an ad for Linkshare or Pepperjam.</p>
<p>What I wanted was the ability to:</p>
<ul>
<li>Specify a specific ad for each individual category page on my blog</li>
<li>Have posts filed in each category show the &#8220;category ad&#8221; for its category by default</li>
<li>Still be able to override the default ad on a single post if I choose</li>
</ul>
<p>For example:</p>
<ul>
<li>I want to show an ad for Pepperjam on my <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/category/affiliate-marketing/">affiliate marketing category page</a></li>
<li>I want all posts <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/examples-affiliate-branding/">filed in</a> the affiliate marketing category to have that same Pepperjam ad by default</li>
<li>I want to still be able to override that default Pepperjam ad on a single post <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/silver-bullet/">with an ad for Linkshare</a> if I choose</li>
</ul>
<p>And by using hooks, I&#8217;m able to do all of the above. And now you can too.</p>
<h3>Example: Specifying Custom Category Ads</h3>
<p>Let&#8217;s say you want to show an ad for Acme Lightbulbs on the main page of your lightbulbs category and have that ad be the default ad for all single posts in the lightbulbs category. You also want to show an ad for Granny Apples in your apples category and have that ad be the default ad for single posts in the apples category. On all other site pages, you want to show an ad for Thesis.</p>
<p>Step 1: Upload the graphics you want to add to show up in your multimedia box to the custom images folder (thesis > custom > images > put your image here)</p>
<p>Step 2: Open your custom_functions.php file (thesis > custom > custom_functions.php) in your favorite editor</p>
<p>Step 3: Underneath the example code already in the file, place the following code (this code assumes your blog is in the root):</p>
<blockquote><p>
/* Multimedia Box */<br />
function custom_ad_box() {<br />
	$categories = thesis_get_categories();</p>
<p>	if ($categories) {<br />
		if (is_category(&#39;lightbulbs&#39;) || in_category($categories[&#39;lightbulbs&#39;]))<br />
			lightbulb_ad();<br />
		elseif (is_category(&#39;apples&#39;) || in_category($categories[&#39;apples&#39;]))<br />
			apples_ad();<br />
		else<br />
			generic_ad();<br />
	}<br />
}</p>
<p>function thesis_get_categories() {<br />
	$raw_categories = &#038;get_categories(&#39;type=post&#39;);</p>
<p>	if ($raw_categories) {<br />
		$categories = array();</p>
<p>		foreach ($raw_categories as $category)<br />
			$categories[$category &#45; &#62;slug] = $category &#45; &#62;cat_ID;</p>
<p>		return $categories;<br />
	}<br />
}</p>
<p>add_action(&#39;thesis_hook_multimedia_box&#39;, &#39;custom_ad_box&#39;);
</p></blockquote>
<p>The /* Stuff Inside Here */ is a label for the code below so you know what it is at a single glance. This is not part of the actual &#8220;code&#8221;. The word &#8220;function&#8221; tells Thesis you want it to do something. The custom_ad_box is what I decided to name that function.</p>
<p>The code underneath it basically says if that category is lightbulbs (the name you enter here is based on the &#8220;slug&#8221; of your category. So if your category url is www.domain.com/category-here/ then you would enter &#8220;category-here&#8221; without the quotes in place of &#8220;lightbulbs&#8221;) then the category should show the ad named &#8220;ad_lightbulb&#8221; (we&#8217;ll define how to create your ad next). - &#8220;if is_category&#8221;</p>
<p>If the category is not lightbulbs, then it will check to see if the category is apples and if it is, it will show the ad named &#8220;ad_apples&#8221;. - &#8220;elseif is_category&#8221;</p>
<p>If the category is not any of those defined in the code (in this case, lightbulbs and apples) then it will show the ad named &#8220;generic_ad&#8221;. - &#8220;else&#8221;</p>
<p>The second function in the above code, which is function thesis_get_categories is generic and should not be changed. The only changes you need to make are to the category names and names of the ads to be shown or adding additional &#8220;elseif is_category&#8221; lines.</p>
<p>The add_action(&#39;thesis_hook_multimedia_box&#39;, &#39;custom_ad_box&#39;); line tells Thesis that you want it to add a function in the multimedia box and the function you want to add is the one we just created - the custom_ad_box function.</p>
<p>Now that Thesis knows what ad name to show on what categories, we need to define the ads themselves.</p>
<blockquote><p>
/* Custom Ads */<br />
function lightbulbs_ad() {<br />
?&#62;<br />
&#60;a href=&quot;http://www.LINKLIGHTBULBADISLINKEDTOHERE.com/&quot;&#62;&#60;img src=&quot;THE-URL-OF-YOUR-LIGHTBULB-AD-IMAGE-GOES-HERE&quot;&#62;&#60;/a&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}</p>
<p>function apples_ad() {<br />
?&#62;<br />
&#60;a href=&quot;http://www.LINKAPPLESADISLINKEDTOHERE.com/&quot;&#62;&#60;img src=&quot;THE-URL-OF-YOUR-APPLES-AD-IMAGE-GOES-HERE&quot;&#62;&#60;/a&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}</p>
<p>function generic_ad() {<br />
?&#62;<br />
&#60;a href=&quot;http://www.LINKGENERICADISLINKEDTOHERE.com/&quot;&#62;&#60;img src=&quot;THE-URL-OF-YOUR-GENERIC-AD-IMAGE-GOES-HERE&quot;&#62;&#60;/a&#62;<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}
</p></blockquote>
<p>As with before, the /* Stuff Inside Here */ is a label for the code below so you know what it is at a single glance. This is not part of the actual &#8220;code&#8221;. The word &#8220;function&#8221; tells Thesis you want it to do something. In this case, we&#8217;re defining three &#8220;functions&#8221; which are ads to be used in the custom_ad_box function we already defined above we decided to name lightbulbs_ad, apples_ad and generic_ad. Just put the HTML for whatever you want to appear in that ad slot there:</p>
<blockquote><p>
function name_of_ad() {<br />
?&#62;<br />
HTML HERE<br />
&#60;?php<br />
}
</p></blockquote>
<p>I first defined what ads should appear where and then defined the ads themselves underneath. However, if you find it easier, you can always define the ads first and then define where they should appear second. The order doesn&#8217;t matter as long as you both define the ads and in what categories they should appear.</p>
<p>That said, please note that if you were previously using the &#8220;custom code&#8221; option in the Thesis options panel, and there is code in there currently, you will need to remove the code and hit the big ass save button to see your new ad hooks display.</p>
<p>You can override the default ad shown for any category on a single post basis the same way as before:</p>
<blockquote><p>
I&rsquo;m able to override the base choice I&#8217;ve made of what to show in that area for the majority of my site pages/posts in the Thesis control panel, all without ever having to touch a drop of code in the Wordpress templates by utilizing the custom key option on the specific page or post.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/pictures/thesisim/thesis3.jpg"><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/pictures/thesisim/thesis3mini.jpg"></a></p>
<p>If you view the photo above, you&rsquo;ll see I was able to select the &#8220;custom&#8221; key I defined in the Thesis control panel and &#8220;override it&#8221; and insert specific code to replace the normal &#8220;custom&#8221; key, only for this post.
</p></blockquote>
<p>If you&#8217;re still not using Thesis, <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/hop/thesis.html">get on board</a>. This is the first of many cool tutorials I&#8217;ll have coming in the next few months that show why Thesis is quickly moving from being the &#8220;best theme choice&#8221; for a professional blog to being the &#8220;only choice&#8221;.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-advanced-ad-targeting/">Thesis Tutorial - Advanced Ad Targeting</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/thesis-tutorial-advanced-ad-targeting/">Thesis Tutorial - Advanced Ad Targeting</a></p>
]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Reasons Even Santa Would Hurt You</title>
		<link>http://www.sugarrae.com/asses-christmas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sugarrae.com/asses-christmas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:17:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rae Hoffman</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Rants in Bitchland]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Christmas]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sugarrae.com/?p=2122</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.sugarrae.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/santa.jpg" alt="" title="Santa" width="150" height="150" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2153" />This post has absolutely nothing to do with internet marketing. No, this post is about ways you can get me to beat the living hell out of you before Christmas.</p>
<p>This is a post aimed at every ignorant ass out there who has done any of the following things during the busiest shopping season of the year.<br />
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Some of the things below might be perfectly acceptable if they weren&#8217;t done within the two weeks before Christmas. However, when done within those two weeks, they risk your health and well-being. At least if I am the person who has had as much as I can take behind you.</p>
<h3>#8: Parking in front of the store</h3>
<p>First, it is never legal to park here. It&#8217;s a fire zone you morons and you are not only being an asshole blocking traffic, but you&#8217;re risking the lives of everyone inside should a fire ensue. </p>
<p>Secondly, you&#8217;re blocking traffic and forcing people to drive around your ass in a crowded parking lot after waiting ten minutes for the people coming the other way who are in a &#8220;no way are you cutting in front of my ass, I&#8217;m sick of this yuletide shit and I want to get to Futureshop before it closes&#8221; mood. </p>
<p>Pedestrians are every where, little kids are running all over the place and you&#8217;re literally risking lives. Added points for also thinking that you are so damn important that you can&#8217;t be bothered to park in the parking lot and WALK TO THE DOOR like the rest of us. Picking up a big item? Bring other people with you to carry it to your car. I know, but can you believe the concept actually works?</p>
<h3>#7: Dropping someone off in front of the store</h3>
<p>While perfectly acceptable in non-busy shopping seasons, especially if it&#8217;s grandma, this is utterly unacceptable during the holiday shopping season. The asshole in number eight is already causing traffic problems and then you want to come along, stop and let someone, who is always slow as fuck and oblivious to the fact that they are causing a traffic clusterfuck, get out slowly in the  &#8220;no way are you cutting in front of my ass, I&#8217;m sick of this yuletide shit and I want to get to Futureshop before it closes&#8221; lane?</p>
<p>No. And, beware the attempts to do so may result in some angry driver simply losing their damn mind because they need to get to Futureshop too and stepping on the gas to send grandma flying up and over the windshield (or at least cause further traffic issues while I daydream about doing it). Unless you have two wooden legs, your ass can walk from the parking lot like everyone else.</p>
<h3>#6: &#8220;Catching up&#8221; with sales clerks</h3>
<p>There is a time and place for catching up with old friends. In the two weeks before Christmas, in a hot and packed store when the &#8220;old friend&#8221; is a sales clerk the rest of us need to talk to in order to buy the things that will give our loved ones some fucking merriment is not one of them. </p>
<p>I don&#8217;t give a shit how big Charlie is getting or if Dan still lives on the west side. I need this shirt on the mannequin in a medium and can&#8217;t reach the top shelf where they are being stored. And funnily enough, I need the person who works here that you&#8217;re inconsiderately bullshitting with to get it for me. And I still have to go to fucking Futureshop people! Give the clerk your number (after you move off to the side to write it down) and let the rest of us get on with our lives.</p>
<p>Ditto the sales clerks chatting with each other. You&#8217;re almost as bad since you&#8217;re both being paid to waste precious moments of my life. I say almost because I have zero hesitation in interrupting your asses to get me my shirt.</p>
<h3>#5: Blocking the aisles</h3>
<p>The stores are crowded enough and shopping in the two weeks before Christmas is already the task from hell. You people who make it harder by blocking the aisles with your baby strollers and fat asses aren&#8217;t helping anything. Here are a few what normally would be called etiquette tips that in this two week timeframe can be referred to as survival tips.</p>
<p>First, if the store is extremely small (think of most &#8220;EB Games in a mall&#8221; size stores) leave your freaking stroller outside, scoop precious up into your damn arms and carry him in. Better yet, have someone else wait outside with precious AND the obstruction to foot traffic. If you think someone won&#8217;t knock you AND precious over to get the last Wii Fit in the tri-state area, you&#8217;re sadly mistaken.</p>
<p>Second, if you must stop to look at something, please stay as close to the actual shelves as possible, be aware of people trying to pass you and make it easy for them. And for fucks sake, get off the cell phone before someone yanks it out of your ear and shoves it down your throat.</p>
<h3>#4: Walking while oblivious</h3>
<p>As a tip, blindly walking into the parking lot in front of cars who have spent 10 minutes dealing with the morons in number eight and number seven is not a smart move. Contrary to public belief, people not wanting to hit you, even if you&#8217;re an asshole walking in front of cars without any nod of &#8220;go ahead&#8221; from the drivers inside them is not the same as you having the &#8220;right of way&#8221;. I WILL hit you if there is a chance I might not make it to Futureshop before it closes. </p>
<h3>#3: Cockblocking your parking space</h3>
<p>I know you saw me asshole. Yeah, me. The person who saw you leaving, never bugged you and simply turned on their blinker and waited for you to put all your bullshit in your car slow as hell because you&#8217;re on your cell phone. The person who waited for you as you continued to talk on the damn phone and warm up your car. The person who will now finally get gratification as you start to pull out.</p>
<p>Until you exit the space in a way that blocks me from being able to get into it and lets that asshole coming from the other direction to slip in even though I&#8217;ve been waiting for six minutes and thirty-two seconds. And I can&#8217;t even blame the other guy - they simply jumped on an opportunity. It was you, you inconsiderate asshat, who saw me waiting and cockblocked your space.</p>
<h3>#2: Cutting in line</h3>
<p>This is likely the second most deadly thing you can do during the holiday season. To the bitch whose boyfriend was in front of me in Mexx the other day, we all know you fucking saw us. Yeah us. The people who stood patiently in line waiting to pay for our designer threads.</p>
<p>The people who watched you come up, AFTER he had already paid for his purchase and his items were being bagged and slap an extra item on the counter that you paid for (not him), with your credit card (not his) and waited for it to be put into your bag (not his). That made it your purchase (and not his) and meant your stuck up, valley girl, daddy probably pays my credit card bill ass CUT IN LINE.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m the bitch who point blank asked you who the hell gave you the right to cut in front of everyone behind you as you paid the store clerk who began to shake at thoughts of the impending riot about to happen. I&#8217;m the bitch who told the store clerk he was &#8220;gutless&#8221; for not making you go to the back of the line where you belong and was met applause from six of the other people you cut in front of for doing so. </p>
<p>You&#8217;re lucky Futureshop was only open for one more hour or I might have slapped the hell out of you instead of yelling out that you were an asshole as you walked from the store with your sullied purchase.</p>
<h3>#1: Forcing a price check for less than one dollar</h3>
<p>This is extremely annoying during any time of the year. But when you force a price check over seventy nine cents with double digit people waiting behind you (one of which is me standing there with my items waiting to check out of Futureshop and be done with this holiday hell) three days before Christmas, you have earned the world&#8217;s biggest asshole award. </p>
<p>I wish there was a way to make you swallow that seventy nine cents. I even offered to GIVE you the seventy nine cents. But no, your cheap, pathetic ass insists on the price check. The clerk hates you. We (the people behind you) hate you. And the person you&#8217;re buying that gift should hate you. Cause you&#8217;re an asshole.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas folks.</p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/asses-christmas/">Reasons Even Santa Would Hurt You</a></p>
<p>This post originated at the <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com">Sugarrae online marketing blog</a>, home to <a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/about/">online marketing consultant</a> Rae Hoffman.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sugarrae.com/asses-christmas/">Reasons Even Santa Would Hurt You</a></p>
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