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So, with the crazy month of travel coming up (Las Vegas for a gambling fix and leaving from there straight for Webmasters in the Sun – then a week later I will be heading off to Boston PubCon and then hitting SES Toronto almost immediately after), I got to thinking about all the people I meet at all the conferences I attend.
It never fails that at every single one, someone (or two) comes up to me and talks to me and I know - *know* - I know their face and that I’ve had a conversation with them at a previous conference, but I can’t for the life of me remember their name.
Am I elitist? Am I so important that I don’t bother to remember names? Hell no. I just meet a ton of people. So, there I stand, with someone in front of me who I hope to god is not realizing I can’t remember exactly how I know them.
Sometimes, a friend who hasn’t met them will introduce themselves and I get a quick refresher. Sometimes the person looks at me and goes “You don’t remember me do you”.
And it isn’t that they didn’t make an impression or *them*. Or that I’m a raving, self absorbed bitch (well – nah that would be too easy). I attend on average a conference every six weeks, so I meet a *lot* of people over the year.
It usually boils down to…
1. I am caught off guard and 15 minutes after the person walks away I can suddenly recall exactly when and where I met them, including their name.
2. I remember everything about how I met them and what we previously talked about, except their name – because I am bad with names.
3. I met them at a party or other night time event and was, um, possibly a wee bit intoxicated during the meet. (Note: if you meet me while I’m on the dance floor rocking out to Nirvana with a shot in my hand, it’s a coin toss on whether I will remember specifics tomorrow – though I will remember the meet in general.)
Yeah, I know number three isn’t the most “professional” excuse in the world, but at least I’m brave enough to admit it. ;-) I also know I’m not the only one who’s been caught in this situation. So, I have a two fold question since everyone has been on both ends at one time or another…
1. How do you handle it when you meet people you don’t fully remember or whose names you can’t remember?
2. How do you *wish* someone would handle not remembering *you* when you meet for a second (or third) time?
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It’s understandable for you not to remember their faces since they are normally not making eye contact with you but checking out that “fine” ass.
Hey Rae,
This happens to me ALL THE TIME at b-school… People seem to really want to be social for some reason :) and I am terrible with names, for almost all of your reasons…
1. I usually just say something like ‘I know we’ve met before, but I’m horrible with remembering names. My name is Jason…’
2. If you don’t remember my name I can usually tell :) So I usually give the person a break and reintroduce myself. If I can’t tell then I would like them to just reintroduce themselves like I do…
P.S. A conference every 6 weeks! :)
Good post - we’ve all been there…. at both ends. My comment is for the people coming up to you: When it’s someone you don’t know that well, or anticipate this may happen, re-introduce yourself immediately, “Hi, [my name] with [abc company], how are you?” Then jump into a question. That gives the other person the opportunity to recover… Saves face every time!
Regarding how you should respond when you don’t know somone’s name, just laugh it off…
By the way, I met you at an SES party, on the dance floor - not sure if you remembered my name the next day, but I didn’t even notice. So you’re handling it brilliantly. ;)
Yea, about every 6 to 8 weeks.
Now see, if someone had said “Jessica” I would have no idea who the hell they meant. But, when I clicked through to your blog I went “Oh, the rocking girl from the ASK party whose age was trying to be guessed the following night!” See? I remember events, conversations… I’m just soooooo bad with names!
Pubcon is coming!
It’s okay if you don’t remember my name I’m still gonna walk right up and talk to you. Fact is I’ll probably be buzzed enough (if it’s after the sessions) I won’t notice if you forget who I am. hehe
It never bothers me, I’m horrible with names myself. Love it when you get caught off guard and you’re like “hiiii…” where you hang on the “i” just a little too long cause right as you opened your mouth you realized, “shit, what’s their name again?”. heheh. At that point the cat’s out if the bag, might as well fess up. ;)
Yeah, reintroduce yourself. Then be quite open that I’ve forgotten their name.
When you meet someone new, say their name out loud in conversation a few times. That serves to fix it into your memory. ‘so Rae, what do you do for a living’ type of thing.
Just play it out like everything is ok. If they do catch you not remembering, just play it off that you didnt want to be rude. Then hold your pocket and say your beeper just went off so you have to go preform an emergency brain operation and high tail it out of there….. it works.
>> So, there I stand, with someone in front of me who I hope to god is not realizing I can’t remember exactly how I know them.
Hm… seems like it might be fun to test this one.
So the test began at approximately 8:00pm on Sunday April 16, 2006. I arrived at the hotel pub of the Sheraton in Boston after a dinner and conversation with Ted Ulle. The venue: WebMasterWorld’s spring PubCon. Rae arrives shortly after I sit down after a potty break.
Rae spies me and I can see it coming. She gets that look in her eye. You know it. The one that says “Face I Know, Name I Don’t Remember.” I let her stew a few minutes and she finally says, “I know I know you but I can’t remember your name.” I smile and reply, “Gregg. I’m also known as lorax.” Rae lifts her arm, points her finger and bursts out with “oh so YOU’RE the one!” I think she called me a few other names I won’t repeat but it was all in good fun.
tada… gotchya!
LMAO - talk about wanting to crawl in a hole and die! ;-)
I was in Bangkok and this ladyboy came up and said she knew me but didn’t remember name name - I assured her I never talked to a ladyboy before = after about 10 minutes I realised it was my ex of 14 years ago - who used to be a girl
Katoey
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