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Yea, fucking right. Raise your hand if you actually thought that was a real title. Now slap yourself with it and go back to Slawski’s site. (No offense Bill. We cool.)
Markus, aka markus941, is the coffee bitch at AU Interactive based in Sarasota, Florida (AU crew photo). He enjoys surfing the tubes, blogging, snitching about paid links, italicizing entire paragraphs, and writing awkwardly long narrative about himself in the third person. He is also a really classy guy and would never talk shit about people he didn’t know all that well like Rebecca, who is racist and smells.
When I first got my big break - writing for Sugararoo - I was psyched. I dreamed up of all the great ways I could impress readers with my rapist wit, steal some new audience for my blog, and generally make the world a better place.
I was going to write a piece about how pimps should be wary of Google - because just like big media, they were next on the radar - with Google WhoreWords - free contextual lapdances whereby the whore in question whispers advertisements in your ear. Then when the applause in my head wore off, I realized that it was a really stupid idea.
Then I went to look for inspiration from previous posters, but somehow I only found a tranny and some high school girls chatting on IM.
I had to think of something. Something different. What would the SEO crowd get into? Then it dawned on me - Flash animation! SEO’s live for flash animation. So I found and hacked up a little game starring your favorite girl, Rae Rae.
Disclaimer #1. If your boss tends to fire people for having unsavory sounds suddenly blaring over the office speakers, turn down the volume. Disclaimer #2. This “fun little” evening project turned into a 6 hour build and now it’s 5:30 am on a Thursday morning. You won’t believe how crappy it is even after all that effort. For all I know I’ve gone batshit crazy and neither this flash game nor this post makes any sense and I will regret having posted it tomorrow. I wanted to make it even better, but I had to kind of half-ass it due to the aforementioned sleep-deprivation.
So without further ado, here’s to Rae’s Scotland vacation. (Couldn’t embed a flash file in the post, which sort of kills the effect - so the link will have to do. Oh well.)
Half-assed crap. With love. Zzzz.
This was a guest post by: markus941
Markus, aka markus941, is the coffee bitch at AU Interactive based in Sarasota, Florida and can dance his mofo ass off. He will go down in infamy for being the creator of the Sugarrae game.
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice title, Markus.
Fun game, too.
Fantastic game! LOVED the secret bonus level, that was hilarious!!! More?
Mmm… now I want some Goldschlager.
Glad you liked it, you 2.
What secret bonus level? I didn’t get to a secret bonus level!
Nice post. You make the rest of us look way sucky.
Reminds me of Rae’s displeasure in New York when she found out that the bar in fact had Goldschlager when they’d previously told her they didn’t and she’d been forced to drink something awful. Like vodka.
I couldn’t find any audio of Rae taking shots or cursing, otherwise the game would have been more accurate.
I had to start drinking rubbing alcohol around her so she’d stop reminding me about her 43.5%.
Thanks Jabecca (© markus941). You two have reached Brangelina and Tomcat status now - minus the fame and the doing-it.
Jabecca …. LMAO!!!
The game was great, and you get a bonus for calling Graywolf a Tranny!
I guess “Rebane” sounded too stupid, huh? Jabecca the Femozzers. We should really start a comic book.
Oh my God, can we?!
holy fuck Markus that was brilliant and inspired.
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