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Subtitle: Don’t fuck with me, don’t fuck with any of my friends, don’t fuck with anybody I like, don’t fuck with those who I think are cool, don’t fuck with peeps who give me free stuff, and don’t be a dumbass unless you wish to be categorically referred to as a world-class douchebag… cuz that would suck-ass for you. Ya douchebag.
Hello world, my name is Kid Disco. I’m not sure if you know who I am, but you may remember me from my SEO blog, where I openly peddle my SEO whore juice.
And without any further ado… I present to you: 11 Surefire Ways to Become a World-Class SEO Douchebag… in no particular order…
Be Gary Ruplinger. Check out the first comment… this guy is 150% douche!Belittle the developer of a free SERP checking tool that was freely published for the public to utilize for FREE. *aach-* Tyler Dewitt *-choo!*Be Dave Pasternack (the douchebag, not the chef).Stand on your soapbox and contravene ideas and theories without providing any constructive input of your own, then throw in a ridiculous maxim that is countered by a hilarious quote of which you have no idea where it came from because you only watch movies that feature little boys, wizards, or hobbits.Hack SEO blogs.Rip on an SEO publication while you copy the author’s about page and use it as your own like James Timothy did. Then come off as an idiot and contradict yourself when you are called out.[removed]Follow me around in a forum and post shit until your profile gets banned and then create another one and continue the same shit.Troll blog comments and post hurtful comments using someone else’s name.Be a coward hiding behind the alias of JohnyX and rip on our beloved and humble femozzers who are undeserving of such snide remarks. (Could JohnyX be Johny Xantas who we see trolling in a different blog comment? The same Johny Xantas who spends his late nights browsing through Craigslist in search of the sexual escapades of others? The same Johny Xantas who unsuccessfully predicted the outcome of the Spurs vs Nuggets series? Jeebus, can you do anything right? If you are not the same person… you’re all douchebags anyway.)- Be Jason Calacanis. He’s a charlatan douchebag!
Did I miss anyone… other than myself? :P
Eat me,
—kid disco
EDIT by CK Chung: It looks like my alter ego might have had a little too much fun doing what he does. I’m sure that many of us, including myself, have done something at sometime that may have counted as douchebaggery and we owned up and learned from it. Therefore, I didn’t think it was fair to call out certain instances, so I crossed most of them out.
CK Chung is a carefree Holistic SEO Consultant, who thinks he is smarter and better looking than Kid Disco.
This was a guest post by: Kid Disco
SEO Hotshot Extraordinaire and Holistic SEO Consultant CK Chung can be found peddling his SEO ramblings at his blog, SEO Disco.
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um, wow.
DUDE!
Ok, so first of all, I’m gonna need you to email me with the contents of #7, or rather what they were prior to your retraction. :)
Secondly, could number 8 be about our old buddy Fakey McFakerton? You know, the one who lies about his experience and has completely proven himself to be the Ultimate Douchebag?!?!?
Once again I love you for the fact that you have balls bigger than Jason Calacanis’ ego. ;)
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>bigger than Jason Calacanis’ ego
sorry there’s nothing in the universe that’s that big ;-)
>>bigger than Jason Calacanis’ ego
>sorry there’s nothing in the universe that’s that big ;-)
True. I wouldn’t be able to wear pants.
You’d have a severe case of elephantitis if your balls were bigger than JC’s ego. (Jason Calacanis, not Jane Copland.)
>True. I wouldn’t be able to wear pants.
Maybe gold plated diapers, but not pants.
>>True. I wouldn’t be able to wear pants.
>Maybe gold plated diapers, but not pants.
Ouch. Gold plated diapers? That does not sound pleasant.
It’s both sad and flattering that douchey-ness on SEOmoz makes more than one — and more than two — appearances in this post!
WOW. I am supprised, I always knew you as a quite conservative guy. Nice to see this side of you CK ;-)
Nice post!
>It’s both sad and flattering that douchey-ness on SEOmoz makes more than one — and more than two — appearances in this post!
I think the ingenious counteraction to the douchey-ness makes up for any sadness. :)
Oh crap, you can still read everything I crossed out!!!!????
I heart douchebags.
WHAT WAS NUMBER SEVEN??????????
Jane, Kiddisco - The sweetness of SEOmoz can not be tarnished by whore posts, guys with “X” in their names or even my stupid comments. :)
You know what I love? I love it when someone you talk shit on in your blog comes around to make cute comments about it.
It’s like… Get a clue, Señor Douchebag! :P
CK, You bring out the worst in me! HA HA HA HA
Kid Disco, three words: you fucking rock.
Jabecca most definitely approves of this post. Jabecca is rather disappointed that CK tried to cross out all of kid disco’s hard work, however.
Freaking hilarious, Ck!
Tell me who it was, Shirley Tipsy. Or do I already know? :)
Adam - You SO know! You forgot the SIGNS sitting next to your desk here… *ahem*
>Adam - You SO know! You forgot the SIGNS sitting next to your desk here… *ahem*
And she’s not referring to the Brad Pitt signs…
The Brad Pitt on a stick still sits here in your honor CK. :P
Mean guys. Just plain mean.
hahaha, this post is comedy gold.
Thanks for ripping on Tyler “cunt-waffle assclown” Dewitt again. It warms my heart every time you do that.
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