Guestwhore post from TheMadHat
So many moons ago Rea Rae offered to let me be a whore mongering pirate and do a guest post. Well…what the hell am I supposed to write? It had to be something a little different than calling someone a douchebag or teaching you how to piss off the Cutter. Coincidentally this was the same week I purchased my digital HD camcorder so I figured it would be a nice place to do some video publishing.
Lesson 1: Don’t try and learn complicated video editing software 2 days before something is due, otherwise you’ll be up for two days straight.
Lesson 2: I forgot.
Lesson 3: Use more brightness and contrast when uploading to that piece of shit YouTube.
So anyway, I started working on this post on January 11th…making this the most effort I’ve ever put into a blog post. Ever. I think I’ve actually built websites faster. That’s 37 days for you Neanderthals that don’t have a calculator. So one of the “rules” was I had to introduce myself, which I did in the video but I still haven’t figured out how to adjust the volume in different portions of the same track. Fuck off if you don’t like it. Here is what I said:
So here’s a toast to you Sugarrae. 58 actually….in less than 2 minutes.
*** And since either I’m an idiot, or because I’ve hacked my blog to death to get it to embed video I can’t get it to embed here. So just go give Google another damn page view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL95-W5EhO8 ***
That was a lot of work. I’m never drinking again. Or at least until Tuesday. Since this is an SEO blog, I figured I’d lay out some analytics for you:
* Days: 37
* Shots: 58
* Number of Jagermeister shots: 57
* Number of other crappy shots: 1
* Bottles of Jager: 2.3 or so
* Times I vomited making this blog post: 0
* Times my friends vomited making this blog post: 1
* Times my friends got cut off from the bar: 1
* Taxi cabs called: ~~Error Javascript disabled~~
* Money spent: Fuck
* Time spent learning how to use Sony Vegas video software: Too fucking long
* Feelings about said software: Good
* Time before liver transplant will be required: -1,234 days
* Shots not recorded because I forgot my camera: 6 or 7. We’ll go ahead and toast Guestwhore Manager for taking care of the blog this week with those.
* Times arrested: 0
* Times should have been arrested: ~~Error Javascript disabled~~
* Times I had trouble explaining what I was doing: 147
So welcome to Guestwhore Week. Be kind to dogs, don’t be kind to cats, and…don’t be mean to super affiliates or you’ll get a C & D (sorry, couldn’t resist). Out.
About the Author
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic -- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. Here is my website in case you're interested in wasting a few of your precious minutes.
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Sugarrae runs on the Thesis WordPress Theme
If you’re someone who doesn’t understand a lot of PHP, Thesis will give a ton of functionality that you wouldn’t be able to obtain otherwise with a simple control panel instead of having to alter code. For the advanced, Thesis has incredible customization possibilities via Thesis hooks.
For those "in between", like myself, I’ve created "dummy" guides for Thesis hooks that allow us to make more professional customizations than we ever deemed possible. The theme is not only highly customizable, but it has allowed me to run Sugarrae more professionally, with a much more targeted focus on monetization than it ever has been able to achieve before. You can find out more about Thesis below:
- Thesis Website and Demo
- Thesis Theme Review
- Thesis Tutorial: Hooks for Dummies
- More Thesis Tutorials on Sugarrae
